I made a startling discovery this morning.
The last year was all about discovering I could not just have a life but a good life without family.
I don’t mean just moving away from family and learning how to be happy in spite of the desire to be somewhere else at such moments as Christmas morning, which became possible thanks to the family of strangers I found waiting for me here in Elkin and Jonesville.
I’m also talking about the desire to be a family to the point of being prepared for children that will never happen.
You can only imagine what it might be like to go through that experience, especially if you actually have children even if you hadn’t planned on them.
Again, thanks to this place I learned how truly happy my life can be because I don’t have children.
Many of you didn’t realize it, but you are also grateful I don’t have children because it is not having children that allows me to be out in the community as much as I am. It allows me to invest my time more in my job than in my home.
It allows me to be the person I am in this moment, and for a change I am incredibly thrilled with everything that means.
It doesn’t mean that I am perfect in anyway, but that I have reached a point where even when life is far from perfect I can still find the positive.
Take for example learning that I can be happy without family and how liberating and frightening that really is.
I have nothing to tie me to my preconceived ideas of what my future should be.
Choices that I made because I wanted to stay within driving distance of home or because I wanted to consider what life would be like for my kids are no longer valid.
Literally the world is open to me.
Well it could be if I was willing to fly, but that not being the case I could still travel beyond the borders of the United States. It’s still possible to be a star on Broadway or maybe to become president of the United States.
It’s possible to do a lot of things yet, but there are still limits of practicality, and I get the opportunity to take a second look, decide what is actually practical and begin a new journey in my life.
I really never dreamed I would be where I am today writing this for you, so what is there to hold me back from doing what I really want to do except for myself?
Knowing that I have that kind of power over my own life is scary. Understanding that I have placed expectations on myself that may not have been unrealistic but were certainly restrictive, and how I can make completely different choices has provided the inspiration to do something with this opportunity.
I wonder what it will be.
Beanie Taylor is a staff reporter for The Tribune. She can be reached at 336-258-4058 or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/TBeanieTaylor.