Acknowledging sorrow during festive season acceptable

By Beanie Taylor -

Beanie Taylor

Christmas is not always the time of joy. For some people it’s a time of true and great sadness.

I think one of the most obvious reasons to have a blue Christmas is grief.

When you have experienced a close death, people are not surprised when you are sad at Christmas especially the first year.

My gosh how difficult that first year is! It could be a parent or someone who is like a parent, spouse or best friend, or — I hate to even whisper it — a child.

Sometimes it’s a loss that isn’t even that close that hits you hard this time of year.

Maybe the coworker who always made those special cookies for the office party is no longer around. It could even be someone famous who sings a particular song you really like that hits you where it hurts all of a sudden in ways you never expected.

Maybe expectation is the cause of your grief this year. Maybe you expected life to be different somehow.

Maybe you expected to have a child or you expected to spend the holiday with your child.

Maybe you expected the whole family to be together instead of just the two of you.

Maybe you expected to be home every single Christmas and know that will never happen again.

Maybe you expected to have a home for Christmas.

No, Christmas is not always the happiest of times. Sometimes what is for some, has been for you, or would have been the most wonderful time of the year is more like the most difficult time of the year.

If you’ve lost someone close recently or, even more challenging mourning the loss after people think you should be over it, this is a time of year when people shun sorrow. They would much rather be around happy cheerful smiling faces than they would the tears and frowns.

I certainly cannot fault that. I much prefer to be my happiest self even when things are not perfect, but just because I’m smiling does not mean that I don’t hurt, too.

And it’s OK to be sad.

Even at Christmas time.

What is not OK is being sad because there is no Service of Light where you can share your sorrow in a place of peace.

Previously I attended such a service at a local church, however I learned today that it will not be having its solstice service this year. Instead of allowing that to make me sad, I have made arrangements to hold a similar gathering downtown thanks to the ladies at Wanderlust Studio.

From 7 to 8 p.m. on Dec. 21 at 122 E. Main St. in Elkin, friends are invited to join me in a time of quiet reflection. I personally invite those who are suffering to join me in comfort and union as we quietly celebrate this season.

Beanie Taylor can be reached at 336-258-4058 or on Facebook at

Beanie Taylor Taylor

By Beanie Taylor

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