As a small boy I never got to visit the circus when it came to town. Somehow I always felt cheated. But now, especially after watching Monday's colorful commentary in the courtroom and being present for some especially noteworthy remarks at the Yadkin commissioners meeting, I think I finally have some closure in my life.

More importantly, I got to witness and now write about some of the most entertaining political theater I have seen. And it was all free.

Here's a sample of what the readers missed if they failed to sit in on what initially appeared to be a relatively straightforward motion for a preliminary injunction to stop the county commissioners from moving forward on a new $7 million jail. With a retired judge who loves to indulge in historical anecdotes, provide his own political commentary and insert a unique brand of humor, the stage at Monday's hearing was already set.

Retired and 72-years-old, Judge Larry G. Ford made it clear at the outset that he was in control of the courtroom. But he also let it be known that he could poke fun at himself and others. For reporters who are accustomed to covering sometimes fairly pedestrian and deliberate proceedings, it was a welcome breath of fresh air. Not since the days of Superior Court Judge Michael Helms, who was known to ask members of the audience to remove their hats and threatened to confiscate chewing gum, was there such a colorful character on the bench.

"If this goes off, turn it off," Ford, a Salisbury native said, referring to a cell phone. "Please hand it to a bailiff and he will hand it back to you at 5 p.m."

Bam! No funky ring tones allowed. There would be discipline and a preview of some amusing stories to come throughout the day.

When Mike Phillips, an attorney for the county, told Ford that he had a few "housekeeping matters" to get out of the way before beginning his arguments, Ford interrupted with a unique observation.

"You know I wonder when you say 'housekeeping,'" Ford said. "Is that sexist?"

Phillips appeared a little unsure how to respond. Was Ford being serious? Do they really prepare you for those kind of questions in law school?

No need for concern. It was just Ford's way of making everyone feel at home, noting that he dusted his own house for two weeks before asking his wife to get a maid to do the job.

And then there was a little history lesson for Phillips and others in attendance. Ford noted that at one time "Rowan County was the largest county in this area, extending all the way to Tennessee."

Phillips conceded the point, agreeing that Salisbury has very nice historic structures.

A short time later, over Phillips objection, Ford allowed the plaintiffs to introduce evidence of arguments over the merits of the jail's proposed location. That meant Yadkinville Mayor Hubert Gregory could take the stand. And Gregory, being the diplomat that he is, wasted no time in making Ford feel at home.

"Your honor," Gregory said. "Let me welcome you to Yadkinville."

That allowed George L. "Andy" Anderson, who had testified about the economic development impacts of moving the jail from its downtown location, to return to work. But Ford couldn't resist a parting shot to Anderson.

"Can you go back and lend money now?" Ford asked

"Yes sir," Anderson said

"Were you involved in any of that subprime lending?" Ford asked.

"No sir," Anderson said.

"So you didn't bankrupt us?" Ford asked.

"No sir," Anderson said before returning to his position at Yadkin Valley Bank & Trust in Yadkinville.

But it was Gregory who almost upstaged Ford. Noted for his occasional blunt language and strong political stance, Gregory was clearly agitated when Phillips continued to ask if the Town of Yadkinville had provided the county with any financial incentives to build the jail.

Leaning forward in his chair, Gregory looked directly at Phillips.

"I think I've already answered that question three times," Gregory shot back.

"Answer it a fourth time," Ford interjected.

Town Manager Ken Larking also wasn't exempt from Ford's good-natured ribbing. As he stepped down from the stand, Ford noted that he had been a city attorney and knew that town managers serve at the pleasure of elected boards.

"What is the life expectancy of a town manager?" Ford asked.

"Depends on the town," Larking said.

"Tough job," Ford responded. "I've seen them come and go."

"It can be," Larking said. "But I like my job."

Walking toward his boss, Gregory couldn't refuse adding one line.

"You should have told him that you have a good mayor," Gregory joked.

But if Judge Ford is an elder statesman with a dry wit and a gentle sense of humor, that would make Yadkin Commissioner Tommy Garner a plain speaking man with unusual candor, a biting sense of humor and a real passion for a good old-fashioned political fight. And after Monday night, some might add heretic to that description. After all, who else would compare preachers to politicians? Only Garner. And only he could put it in the current political context that everyone should appreciate, value and understand.

So the second part of Monday's political circus continued when Garner began the night by observing that the public had abused an unmanned garbage dumpster on Patterson Mill Road by filling it with dead chickens.

"Can it safely be said that we tried to do the county a favor and they acted like a group of donkeys?" Garner asked.

The room grew quiet while a few crickets could be heard in the background.

But there would be more noise before the night was out. And it would be from, you guessed it, Garner. The Hamptonville Democrat noted that Gloria Whisenhunt, the chairwoman of the Forsyth County Board of Commissioners, has delivered invocations at the board meetings when there was no clergy present. However, Whisenhunt has made no sectarian references in her prayer.

Forsyth County is asking that a lawsuit over the constitutionality of allowing public invocations that contain sectarian references be dismissed. The suit says that the county is sponsoring sectarian prayer and endorsing Christianity in violation of the Constitution. Unlike Forsyth, Yadkin Commissioners have chosen to continue public invocations before meetings but without sectarian prayer. That led to the rally and organization of several area churches who organized a grassroots campaign to unseat incumbent Commissioners Kim Phillips and Joel Cornelius.

Garner, who is not up for re-election, didn't shy away from the issue Monday night. Instead, he openly embraced it, telling members in the audience that he has reviewed passages in the Holy Bible pertaining to prayer.

And then Garner began to speak from what can be best referred to as the "Book of Tommy."

"That brings to mind the most famous question ever asked in Yadkin County: 'What are you people doing here?'" Garner said, recycling his quote that a group of citizens used in their campaign advertisement on the prayer issue. "We are not telling people not to pray. We just decided how we were going to pray."

Garner continued, noting purposely and erroneously that he was reading from the King James version of the Bible that the Apostle Paul used. Garner didn't bother to note that Paul, the apostle, wasn't alive in the 17th Century when the King James version of the Bible was first published.

"People, get educated," Garner said with his voice dripping with sarcasm. "See what the book says. Talk it over with your preacher. If your preacher disagrees, tell him to call me or come by the shop. I welcome all comers. Preachers are a whole lot like politicians. They tell you what they like to hear. You quit coming, you quit tithing, which means the church has no money, which means the preacher is out of a job."

At that point, one of Garner's staunchest opponents and long-time critics, Peggy Boose, walked out of the commissioners' room. Exit stage right.

Garner was unswayed.

"That's the way it is," Garner said. "I'm sorry if you don't like it. You got two choices: Get over it or die."

Now that's entertainment.

Andy Matthews is the Editor of The Yadkin Ripple. He lives in East Bend.