My momma always told me that if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all. So I didn't have a column last week.

TRUST me, I didn't have anything nice to say. Apparently pregnancy hormones get more and more intense the older you are. I don't remember having mood swings that turned me from Little Miss Sunshine to the Grim Reaper and back in 11 minutes flat when I was pregnant with our daughter two years ago. That is selective memory I suppose. But I don't want to neglect my readers, so I'll share my Halloween week with you before I get on with THIS weeks saga. People have asked me how I come up with this stuff...it's true that life is stranger than fiction!

Last week Cameron went trick-or-treating for the first time. She was a ladybug and everyone just LOVED her! On Monday night of last week, she and I carved our jack-o-lanterns. We made a little one representing her with a funny surprised look on its face. I carved the mouth hole open in a big "O" shape and cut arched eyebrows above her eyes for a SURPRISED look.

Then the bigger pumpkin, representing ME, had an angry, scary MEAN face. I carved the eyebrows slanted down in a scowl and the mouth jagged and snarling. Looking back it was a very good representation of how I felt that day.

Wednesday we loaded up and decided to go candy scavenging. We live on Wisconsin Avenue, which is a stone's throw away from West Main Street, so this year I decided to put her in the stroller and walk there to trick or treat. We started early since she thinks she requires 12 hours a night of beauty sleep.

By 6:45 there was a TRUE "Nightmare On West Main Street." The crowd was unreal. I don't know if you've ever been there on Halloween, but it is bumper-to-bumper and elbow-to-elbow trick-or-treaters. It was CRAZY! We only made it a fourth of the way down West Main Street before we turned RIGHT around and went home. Of course Cameron is so young she didn't mind.

She collected PLENTY of candy ...for mommy to eat. She's only a year old ya know! I have to be a good mommy and eat most of it, so she doesn't get sick or addicted to chocolate or ...well. I just had to eat it, OK? I was checking it for razor blades and lead paint. Yeah, that is my story and I'm sticking to it!

Well THIS week I have decided to throw a jewelry party at my house. By 10:30 last night I remembered why I quit throwing parties years ago!

First of all my house is like SIX square feet or something and the layout is not ideal for a family of four - almost FIVE - much less a party for 10 to 12 adults.

I started the process of cleaning the house Saturday. I did my spring-cleaning as well as my winter, summer and fall, too. I moved EVERY piece of furniture in my house and dusted behind and under it. While cleaning the couch, I found two remote controls to devices we don't even OWN anymore, a pair of shoes, $27 in CHANGE and a homeless person, Okay, so not a homeless person, but I could not believe the amount of LOST items that were recovered after eight hours of cleaning. I have vowed to not let the house go six months without spring-cleaning ever again. Now let me say, I consider myself very organized, to the point my husband, my sister and even my mom think it's a compulsive disorder.

I STRONGLY disagree. I just believe that everything has a place. If you get the scissors out of the left desk drawer in the living room, put the scissors BACK in the left drawer of the desk. If you take the fingernail clippers OUT of the bottom right bathroom drawer, then cut your nails and put the clippers BACK in the bottom right bathroom drawer.

It's not rocket science, and it's not compulsive. It just makes sense. Now comPULsive would be if I had to have all the window blinds in the living room pulled up or down at the EXACT same height. Or if the shower curtain had to be touching both sides of the wall when pulled shut, or if the pillows on the couch had to be turned at a 40 degree angle and overlapping the armrest ... OH wait! Those ARE my habits...so maybe I AM a little compulsive. But if I AM; then how in the world did I not know there was a homeless person with $27 worth of change living under my couch cushions?

Holly Lamm is classified advertising manager and lives in Elkin.